Romance

27 Dresses, 3 Chuckles & 1 Laugh

Save me from chick flicks.  27 Dresses is one long tedious joke about a woman who has spent her entire life making her friends dreams come true and helping to give them each the weddings they’ve always wanted.  Trouble is she’s stuck with unhealthy crush for her boss, who is now interested in her devious little sister, and a new stalker who wants to write the story about what a whackjob she is, until he falls hopelessly in love with her.  Ain’t love grand.

27 Dresses
1 Star

“I never do anything like this.”

Jane (Katherine Heigl) has a great job, and a man she adores.  The problem is George (Edward Burns) is her demanding boss who doesn’t think of her romantically.  Jane’s life is further complicated by a reporter (James Marsden) secretly doing a story on her and the appearance of her younger sister (Malin Ackerman) who immediately hits it off with George.

I don’t know if there is actually a book entitled “How to Make a RomCom,” but if so the these writers have read it cover to cover.  Every cliche is present, the disinterested right guy, the animosity to meeting the really right guy, the embarrassing situations, the betrayal, the miscommunication, and the inevitable happy ending.  The film even goes farther with wacky cab rides and bad drunken karaoke.

Nor does the story make that much sense.  Both of the men here are complete jerks.  Her choices are they guy who constantly takes advantage of her and never takes her feelings into account, or the guy who goes behind her back, lies to her, and makes a mockery out of her life.  Ladies get in line to snatch up one of these prize hubby candidates.

About half-way through the film there exists a scene between Heigl and Marsden where she tries on all the bridesmaid dresses she owns and talks about being a bridesmaid.  Somewhere, hidden deep down, in this is an interesting tale of a woman who gives so much of herself and makes everyone else’s dreams come true.  There’s actually something there that might make the center of a good film.  Sadly that’s lost among the bad jokes, groans, and pratfalls.  And for a comedy there sure isn’t much to laugh at.  There ware a couple lame attempts that got a chuckle from me, but only one genuine laugh from the entire film.  I won’t ruin that one moment for you in case you are forced to see this film, though if your girlfriend drags you to this you might want to reconsider your options.

The quote above comes from the film.  If only Hollywood would take it to heart and stop making these generic movie in a box tales filled with lame humor, stupid characters, “funny” coincidences and humiliations.  You’ve seen it all before, and you’ll see it all again.  Actresses seem cursed with having to make these films as some kind of rite of passage.  It’s almost as if the studios want to see how bad of a movie an actress can carry without destroying her career.  If she makes it through maybe she gets better scripts and if not she becomes Kate Hudson.

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P.S. This is a Bad Movie

  • Title: P.S. I Love You
  • IMDb: link

P.S. I Love YouFresh off the insanely bad The Reaping (read that review) Hilary Swank takes this braindead romcom?  Why, Hilary, Why?  Okay, so it’s nowhere near the disaster of Mandy Moore’s films from earlier this year, but when that’s the only good thing I can say about it, well, that’s a problem.  Overfilled with enough cuteness to make a Care Bear strangle someone, this is a film best forgotten in movie hell, or inevitably replayed forever on Lifetime (which might be the same thing).

Holly (Hilary Swank) and Gerry (Gerard Butler) are the cutest couple ever!  They met cute, their first kiss was precious, and they even fight cute.  This movie is so stuffed with cuteness it makes The Care Bears Movie look like Schindler’s List.  Problem is, he’s dead.  But don’t worry, it’s not a downer because Holly even mopes cute.

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Heart-Broken

  • Title: The Heartbreak Kid
  • IMDb: link

The Heartbreak Kid

Ben Stiller plays his usual self – a normal guy who gets into an unlikely situation that gets worse and worse until finally everything is resolved at the last minute.  Sound familiar?  If you’ve seen There’s Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Along Came Polly, and the like, then you’ve seen Stiller’s trademark character who he trots out every couple years for another film.

This remake of the 1972 film finds a 40 year-old single man pressured into marrying a relative stranger (Malin Akerman – doing a scary, awkward, and charmless Cameron Diaz impersonation) only to find out on his honeymoon that’s she’s not the woman he thought she was.  Shocker!

Things get complicated further when Eddie (Stiller) falls for a young woman (Michelle Monaghan) vacationing with her family at the resort and tells a small lie about a former wife and an ice pick that leads to all types of implausible misunderstandings.  You know those films where you don’t see things coming?  This isn’t one of those.

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Jane Austen, The Early Years

  • Title: Becoming Jane
  • IMDb: link

Becoming Jane

Jane (Anne Hathaway) is a beautiful country girl who enjoys sharing her works with her neighbors.  Into her life arrives young Tom Lefroy (James McAvoy) an Irish scoundrel from the city sent out into the wilderness by his uncle (Ian Richardson) for his inappropriate behavior.  Tom scoffs Anne’s writings and her surroundings, infuriating the young woman.

Fans of Hollywood romances can guess what happens next.  A friendship between the pair begins as Tom introduces Jane to new ideas and Jane shows Tom that the city doesn’t hold all of the world’s wonders.

Although the story is rather straight-forward it is well-handled and enjoyable.  Hathaway proves more than up to the task in making the role her own and carrying the film, though I do wonder at why an English actor (like say Kiera Knightly) wasn’t chosen for the role.  McAvoy provides some good humor to the role and there is nice, if constrained, chemistry between the pair.  Add to all this a supporting cast which includes Maggie Smith, James Cromwell, and Julie Waters and you’ve got a good film.

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No Need For Reservations

  • Title: No Reservations
  • IMDb: link

“You know better than anyone.
It’s the recipes you create yourself that are the best.”

No Reservations movie review

Kate (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is the head chef at an upscale New York restaurant.  She’s also compulsive, anal, controlling, and a times what could be referred to as a bitch on wheels.  All this changes when her sister dies in a car accident leaving her young daughter Zoe (Abigail Breslin) in Kate’s care.  To make matters worse the owner of the restaurant (Patricia Clarkson) has hired a new chef (Aaron Eckhart) to spice things up and pick-up the slack in the kitchen as Kate deals with her grief and new responsibilities.  You can guess where the story goes from here.  Kate learns to be more open and accepting, Zoe struggles with her mother’s death and new surroundings, and the animosity between Kate and Nick turns into love just as movie romances always seem to do.

No Reservations isn’t a bad film, but it’s so predictable and tame that it more resembles a frozen dinner than cuisine.  If not for the fact of casting three remarkably talented and likable leads the film would be almost completely unwatchable.  Though the star power isn’t enough to turn this turkey into a swan it does enough to make the film at least palatable.

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