Michael Fassbender

Next Goal Wins

  • Title: Next Goal Wins
  • IMDb: link

Next Goal Wins

Based on a true story of a washed-up soccer coach exiled across the world and tasked with turning around the worst international soccer team in the world after their historic loss 31-0 on the world stage, Next Goal Wins is pretty much what you would expect following in the footsteps of films such as Cool Runnings, A League of Their Own, or The Mighty Ducks… just not as good.

While perfectly acceptable as family friendly TV entertainment for something like The Hallmark Channel, Next Goal Wins lacks the heart of a champion and is more notable for Kaimana‘s role portraying Jaiyah Saelua, the first openly non-binary and trans woman to compete in a FIFA World Cup qualifier, than the story of the coach (who does little on-screen to teach soccer and whose motivations seem to come and go when the film needs them to without ever providing any proper motivation to change his attitude towards himself, his situation, or the team).

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The Killer

  • Title: The Killer
  • IMDb: link

The Killer

Movies about assassins almost always fall into the forgettable B-movie action-thriller variety, however there are some exceptions. Michael Fassbender stars in this slow burn thriller as a skilled assassin who fails an assignment. The first 20 minutes of the film show Fassbender waiting patiently for events to line up to take out his latest target focusing on both the methodical routine and readiness he sticks to and the large amount of downtime, boredom, and waiting involved. When the hit goes wrong, out killer flees the scene and makes his escape only to discover his employers have decided to take precautions and remove him as well.

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Assassin’s Creed

  • Title: Assassin’s Creed
  • IMDb: link

Assassin's Creed movie reviewStop when this gets too silly for you. For hundreds of years a creed (which is the franchise’s term for ill-defined shadowy group) of assassins has been in a secret war with the Knights Templar over control of a divine object know as the Apple that has to power to remove free will from all humankind. The Templars wish to use it to subjugate the human race. To find the lost artifact, the Templars steal a career criminal (Michael Fassbender) from his execution and hook him up to a machine which reads genetic memories from his code so he can relive his ancestor’s experiences while jumping around tied to a giant metal arm with those experiences manifested around him as ghostly visages.

Still with me? In charge of the project is a die-hard believer (Jeremy Irons) and his daughter the scientist (Marion Cotillard) who needs a blood descendant of the last person to have the Apple to lead the Templars to it (on the assumption that no one could have possilby found and/or moved it in more than half a millennium). The only way to find the Apple is to have these decedents of various assassins relive the experiences (gaining knowledge, purpose, and murderous skills which, of course, will eventually backfire on the evil corporation).

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