Keira Knightley

Pirates of the Caribbean: Trainwreck at World’s End

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
  • IMDB: link

“There was a time when a pirate was free to make his own way in the world, but our time is coming to an end.  Our enemies are united; they vow to destroy us.  The Pirate Lords from the four corners of the Earth must stand together.”

pirates-at-worlds-end-posterThe film begins, after a bizarre introduction about singing coins and eight pieces of nine (don’t ask) which is never satisfactorily explained, with Will (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) in Singapore.
Their visit has two purposes.  The first is to gain the maps and ship necessary to travel to Davy Jone’s Locker and rescue Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp).  The second involves a poorly thought out, and even worse explained, plotline about a meeting of pirate lords, mysterious artifacts, and a goddess which Barbossa wants to use to fight back against Norrington’s (Jack Davenport) control of the seas.

After making a deal with Captain Sao Fang (Chow Yun-Fat) the group sails to rescue Jack (who doesn’t make his first appearance until more than 20 minutes into the film) who is lost in a bizarre land where he is haunted by mirror images of himself and stones which turn into crabs.

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Dumb but fun “Pirates”

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
  • IMDB: link

dead-mans-chest-poster-2It’s July, and the most exciting movie to have come out this summer has been The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Don’t get me wrong, I was along for the ride when it came out last month; but this is summer, and we should be bombarded with more action than the Playboy Mansion.  Where’s that movie that you can’t get yourself to leave for the restroom after drinking a gallon of Cherry Coke from the consession stand, even though you’re pretty sure it will cause some sort of internal combustion by the time the credits role?

Now it’s here, and it’s called Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. It doesn’t quite threaten audiences’ bladders like you might hope it will, but in this summer of Poseidon and X-Men: The Last Stand, it feels pretty damn good to be able to escape to the cinemas from the dead heat of summer into a decent action flick for the first time this year.

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Empty Chest

  • Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
  • IMDB: link

pirates-dead-mans-chest-posterPirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest is a perfect example why sequels shouldn’t be made.  There’s nothing original here as the film gives us action scene after action scene, without any real story to hold them together. 

Nor does it help that the film steals plot, characters, scenes and more from Clash of the Titans (the Kracken, the floating coffins), King Kong (the island and its multicultural tribe, the running time), The Return of the Jedi (the Quarren, the Sarlaac, the Ewok village, the ceremonial fires and the exact scene as Han Solo tries to blow the fire out), Raiders of the Lost Ark (the tribe chasing the explorers through the jungle to the safety of the plane, the giant boulder), The Matrix Reloaded (the search for an oracle, the gathering together of forces on an adventure in the next film) and others even including American Gladiators (atlasphere)!

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Top 10 Films of 2005 (That You Probably Missed)

As I made up my list of my top ten films of the year I noticed something – not one was a box office hit in terms of Hollywood executive standards.  None of my ten grossed $100 million at the box office, in fact only one grossed more than $50 million.  Though most pulled in an excess of what it took to make, or at least enough to break even, very few people saw the films that I would consider to be the class of 2005.

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Heads You Win, Tails You Die

  • Title: Domino
  • IMDB: link

domino-posterWhat an entertaining ride.  Although rather messy and with more than a couple of flaws, Domino delivers one of the most enjoyable and watchable films this year.  Comparison to Tarantino’s Kill Bill are probably inevitable, but this is a far superior film with actual heart.  And damn, is it fun!!

Domino Harvey (Keira Knightley) is a glamour girl with a thirst for violence turned bounty hunter.  As the film opens Domino is in custody telling FBI Agent Taryn Miles (Lucy Liu) discussing what went wrong and landed her handcuffed in the interrogation room.  Something horrible happened on the last bounty and the movie is a series of flashbacks inter-cut with Knightley telling her story and finding her own understanding of what happened out in the desert.

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