Angelina Jolie

The Legendary Awesomeness of Kung Fu Panda

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Kung Fu Panda
  • IMDb: link

“Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose Kung Fu skills were legendary.  His enemies would go blind from over-exposure to sheer awesomeness.”

The son of a noodle making goose (James Hong), Po (Jack Black) the Panda dreams only of Kung Fu.  His wishes are granted when Master Oogway (Randall Duk Kim) names him the Dragon Warrior.

The pronouncement is met by skepticism by the Furious Five, the best warriors of the valley who include Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Viper (Lucy Liu) and Crane (David Cross), and sheer incredulity by their teacher Shifu (Dustin Hoffman).

Despite his large size, and even larger heart, the Panda is destined for greatness and possibly the only one who can stop the evil Tai Lung (Ian McShane) who has broken out of prison and is returning home to face the newly proclaimed Dragon Warrior and take the Dragon Scroll (which holds the secret of ultimate skill in Kung Fu) for himself.

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Changeling

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Changeling
  • IMDB: link

“Miss Collins, if that’s your son I’ll eat my yardstick.”

Based on a true story the film, set in Los Angeles of the 1920’s, tells the tale of Christine Collins (Angelina Jolie) and her missing son.

When the police reunite her with who they believe to be her son Collins quickly finds plenty of evidence to support her own feelings that this boy is not Walter.  Attempts to get the police to acknowledge their mistakes fall on deaf ears and eventually Collins is thrown into an asylum for her “irrational” behavior.  Cue the inevitable electro-shock scene.

Director Clint Eastwood gives us a terrific looking picture filled with crazy and bizarre events.  However the film’s mood is never quite right and many of the disturbing events, such as the inane explanations in the change of Walter by the officer in charge (Jeffrey Donovan) and a doctor (Peter Gerety), come off silly rather than menacing.

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Ain’t Violence Grand?

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Wanted
  • IMDb: link

“Your father died yesterday on the rooftop of the Metropolitan Building.  He was one of the greatest assassins who ever lived, and the other one is behind you.”

Stuck in a dead-end job with a girlfriend (Kristen Hager) who’s cheating on him with his best friend (Chris Pratt), a ball-busting boss (Lorna Scott), and a general sense of utter futility, Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) is not just having a bad year, but a bad life.

All this changes when he’s approached by a beautiful woman called the Fox (Angelina Jolie) who informs him his father, the greatest assassin to ever live, has just been killed and the man responsible (Thomas Kretschmann) is now gunning for him.  Wesley finds himself thrown into a world he never imagined.

The Fraternity of Assassins led by Sloan (Morgan Freeman) shows Wesley he has the special talent and abilities of his father which make him a perfect candidate for the Fraternity.

Choosing to give-up his old life Wesley jumps into the training which basically entails him getting the ever-living-snot beat out of him over and over again.  He trains to become the world’s best assassin able to bend bullets fired from his gun and kill from even miles away.

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Beowulf

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Beowulf
  • IMDb: link

“I am Beowulf!”
 

Beowulf movie review

The film follows a condensed, and rushed, variation of the original epic poem.  After his hall is attacked by a fearsome creature known as Grendel (Crispin Glover), King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) offers half of his fortune to anyone who can rid his kingdom of the monster.  The legendary warrior Beowulf (Ray Winstone) arrives, for the glory of defeating the demon.

The film follows Beowulf’s battle with Grendel and his encounter with Grendel’s mother (Angelina Jolie) in the dark caves of the mountains.  Secrets will be unearthed, curses laid down, and Beowulf’s glory will grow – though not without a cost.

In terms of look the film achieves much of what it sets out to do.  The appearance of the characters (each taken from the individual actors) is the best I’ve seen human beings done in this type of computer animation.  Also worth noting are the battle scenes which work quite well, especially if you have a chance to see the film in the IMAX 3-D version where the blood and spears shoot out at you.

Though the look works there are many problems with the non-human characters.  The monsters in the film are scary in only a depressing B-movie kind of way.  Grendel is a big dumb ogre, the dragon is ferocious but bland, and we never get to see the true form of Grendel’s mother (though it is often teased in reflection).  The only real monsters worth mentioning are the sea creature Beowulf slays during a flashback in what is the best scene of the film.

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