Action

Be Very Afraid

  • Title: Running Scared
  • IMDb: link

Running Scared

I wonder how some films get made; I really do.  Running Scared is one of the worst movies to be dropped on an unsuspecting public in years.  I know I told you Freedomland was awful (and it was) but Scared digs deep down into the same pile of sludge and manages without much effort to be even worse.  The film uses issues – child abuse, murder. children shooting guns, torture, inappropriate sex, children being beaten and threatened with guns and knives, child molestation and child pornography, and the total legitimacy of blowing away the bad guys as the right thing to do – as empty plot devices to keep the “action” rolling right along.  Much like Freedomland the film doesn’t deal with any of these issues only exploits them for cheap thrills, but Scared does it over and over and over again with joyfully perverse glee. 

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Stealth

  • Title: Stealth
  • IMDB: link

stealth-posterEver wonder what would happen if you took half the script for Iron Eagle 2 and half the script for Short Circuit and removed anything remotely good, or funny, or interesting?  I didn’t either, but obviously the makers of this film needed to solve this philosophical dilemma.

Stealth is the worst type of summer movie: a summer action adventure film that breaks all the rules of reality and the world in which it takes place indiscriminately.  The movie steals plot, story, scenes, and characters from everything from 2001: A Space Odyssey to War Games to Firefox, and yet can’t seem to capture any single moment of believability, fun, or excitement.

Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, and Josh Lucas play Navy pilots who have been specially trained to fly a new jet fighter.  The commander of this project (Sam Shepard) shows up to introduce them to their new team member.  EDI (who will be referred to as Johnny Number Five for the rest of this review)  is a new jet that is controlled completely by a state of the art computer intelligence.  The crew is uneasy about letting a computer into the squad, and even more so after Johnny Number Five is hit by lightning and starts to think for himself.

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