3 Razors

Jodie Foster’s Death Wish

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Brave One
  • IMDb: link

The Brave One

After radio talk show host Erica Bain (Jodie Foster) and her fiancée (Naveen Andrews) are brutally attacked in the park by a gang she wakes up in the hospital beaten and frightened after weeks in a coma.  Her fiancée is dead, her dog is gone, and the men who are responsible are still free.

In an attempt to get control of her life Erica buys a gun and puts herself, sometimes purposefully sometimes by accident, into dangerous situations where violence will occur.  Though she is repulsed and frightened she also seeks out these situations and even begins to enjoy herself.  She becomes a vigilante and imposes her own brand of brutal justice on her victims.

She also meets and befriends NY Detective Mercer (Terrence Howard) who is struggling with the limitations of the system and also trying to help Erica come to grips with what happened to her.  As the clues to the vigilante’s identity begin to pile up Mercer begins to suspect his new friend might be responsible.

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Arctic Tale

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Arctic Tale
  • IMDb: link

Arctic Tale

The documentary, as narrated by Queen Latifah, follows a handful of arctic creatures.  The main focus of the film is the separate stories of two animals: a polar bear named Nanu and a walrus named Seela.  The documentary begins with their births and development and follows each of them through the first eight years of their lives as they grow, mature, and have children of their own.  Somebody cue up “Circle of Life” from The Lion King.

As a documentary for young viewers it does a good job of setting up the life cycles of its main characters and explaining how the changing climate in the arctic is effecting everything.  Though adults won’t really find any new information, the film does work as a good primer for kids.  It is well shot and compiled, including many scenes which you wonder how close the camera men got to their subjects, and for adults wanting something educational to watch and discuss with their youngsters this will suffice.

What doesn’t work?  The documentary is geared to young children and although Latifah never comes off as condescending, at times it does seem to talk down to kids.  It is also filled with some juvenile fart humor that anyone over the age of ten will grow tired of quickly enough.  And finally, the film is filled with musical cues that are a little too cute for me.  An example, when discussing the family of walruses, “We Are Family” begins to play.

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Neil Gaiman’s Stardust

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Stardust
  • IMDb: link

“There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart’s Desire…The tale started, as many tales have started, in Wall.”
 

Stardust

Tristan (Charlie Cox) is your average leading character, a dreamer, a bit of a bumbler, from modest backgrounds, and in love with a girl (Sienna Miller) who doesn’t take him seriously.

To prove his love Tristan vows to go over the wall and bring back a falling star.  Though Tristan makes it over the wall his quest leads him where he least suspects for on the other side of the wall exists a magical realm which includes witches (Michelle Pfeiffer, Sarah Alexander, Joanna Scanlan, Melanie Hill), princes (Mark Strong, Jason Flemyng, Rupert Everett) with agendas of their own, and pirates (Robert De Niro, Dexter Fletcher).

Tristan’s goal is further impeded when the star itself turns out to be a sentient creature named Yvaine (Claire Danes) whose life is now in danger from those who wish to kill her and take her power.  Tristan’s journey home with Yvaine will teach him much about himself and the world, help him discover where his heart truly lies, and give him clues to his past and his destiny.

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Bourne Before

/ / Home Video
  • Title: The Bourne Identity (1988)
  • IMDB: link

bourne-identity-tv-dvdRichard Chamberlain as Jason Bourne?  Yeah, that’s a little head-scratching I’ll admit.  However this version of the Ludlum novel does stay closer to the character and themes of the orginal, and includes the book’s villain Carlos the Jackal.

Staying true to the novel by Robert Ludlum Jason Bourne (Chamberlain) awakes after being shot and left for for dead in the ocean knowing nothing of himself or his surroundings.

Leaving the small sleepy southern French village where he washed up our protagonist heads out to discover who he is, but he his search only leads to more questions.  He is haunted by flashbacks of a women and a child and images of violence and death.

His one clue leads him to a Swiss bank account where he learns his name as his life is put in danger.  Taking a woman, Marie St. Jacques (Jaclyn Smith), as a hostage Bourne escapes.

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The Simpsons on the Big Screen

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: The Simpsons Movie
  • IMDb: link

“Why would you pay to see something you can see for free on TV?”
—Homer Simpson

The Simpsons Movie movie review

If you’ve watched thw show you know the basic formula of it’s 18 years of success: Homer (Dan Castellaneta) screws-up, Bart (Nancy Cartwright) gets into trouble, Lisa (Yeardly Smith) fights for a lost cause, Marge (Julie Kavner) gets angry, and by the end of the episode everything turns out fine.  Not surprisingly the script for this movie version holds true to form.

The main story involves the obsessions of Homer with a new pig and Lisa with cleaning up Lake Springfield.  When these two storylines converge Springfield is put in danger (guess who’s to blame) and the family finds itself hated by their friends and hunted by President Arnold Schwarzenegger and the EPA.

The film is enjoyable and fans will not doubt flock to the theaters to have a chance to see their favorite characters on the big screen.  However one does have to ask why this film was made, and why was it made now while the show is still in production?  In one of the better jokes (though it rips-off Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back read the review) Homer asks the very same question.

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