3.5 Razors

When Soccer Ruled the World (Including the USA)

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Once in a Lifetime: The Extraordinary Story of the New York Cosmos
  • IMDb: link

once-in-a-lifetime-poster

The film focuses on the rise, short glory, and disastrous fall, of the New York Cosmos – the first, and maybe last, great soccer team in American history.  Founded by Steve Ross, the Cosmos were the first Dream Team to play on American soil.  With soccer greats Pele, Franz Beckenbauer, and Giorgio Chinaglia, they broke into the minds and hearts of New Yorkers and across America.

Narrated by Matt Dillon the film takes a look at the barren soccer landscape of America in the early 1970’s and the one man who tried to change it single-handedly.  Warner Bros. Chairman Steve Ross had a dream, and his dream was soccer in America.  To get that dream he brought the biggest stars of the day to America and made soccer into a national story.

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Festival of Beer

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Beerfest
  • IMDb: link

After the death of their grandfather (Donald Sutherland), two brothers (Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske) travel to Germany with his ashes.  There they discover the secret underground competition known as Beerfest.  Teams of five from countries around the world compete in different events to crowned champions every year.

After being humiliated and thrown out of the competition, the pair decide to put together their own American team and return a year later to kick some ass.  They round-up three old friends (Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Jay Chandrasekhar), each with a specific beer related skill, and spend the next twelve months training (and getting really drunk).

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Wait Until You Hear About the Mascot

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Accepted
  • IMDB: link

accepted-posterIf you liked movies like Waiting…, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Risky Business, and Van Wilder, then you should give Accepted a shot.  It’s a little of all of those movies, and others, rolled into one.  But what makes it different is the humorous AND seriousness with which it discusses our educational system – and that it has something to say, unlike most teen comedies these days, rather than just show.

Unable to find a college who will accept him, Bartleby Gaines (Justin Long) decides to create one instead.  With the help of his friends (Jonah Hill, Columbus Short, Maria Thayer) he creates a web page, leases a rundown mental hospital, hires a former educator to be their dean (Lewis Black), and thus creates the South Harmon Institute of Technology.  His parents seem convinced and he and his friends sit down to party all summer long.

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Barnyard

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Barnyard: The Original Party Animals
  • IMDb: link

Have you ever wondered what animals do when humans aren’t looking?  The answer Barnyard: The Original Party Animals suggests includes quite a bit of human-style partying and misadventure. 

Otis the cow (Kevin James) is the most popular member of the barnyard.  His crazy antics and love of fun with his friends Pip the mouse (Jeffrey Garcia), Freddy the ferret (Cam Clarke), and Pig the, uh, pig (Tino Insana), include surfing the local hills, “boy tipping” a local young ne’er-do-well (Steve Oedekerk), and throwing huge parties every night in the barn behind the back of neighbors Famer Beady (Oedekerk) and his nosey wife (Maria Bamford). 

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Your Mission if You Choose to Accept It

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Mission: Impossible III
  • IMDB: link

mission-impossible-3-posterI wasn’t a fan of the first film, but enjoyed Mission: Impossible II for its style and big stunts (and the delectable Thandie Newton), but this film finally is what I’ve been waiting for from the franchise.  Big elaborate stunts, a comprehensible plot, a bad-ass villain, and a team of IMF agents working together doing their jobs (and not all killed off in the first ten minutes) this is the Mission: Impossible I’ve been waiting for.

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) has given up active assignments for the IMF and now trains recruits and spends time with his fiance Julia (Michelle Monaghan) who doesn’t know what he really does for a living.  Hunt is finally happy and at peace until a friend from the IMF (Billy Crudup) contacts him and tells him his star pupil (Keri Russell) has been taken hostage.  Hunt returns to the field with his team (Ving Rhames, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and Maggie Q) for a rescue mission.

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