2 Razors

Godzilla, Kong & the Unnecessary Sequel

/ / Movie Reviews
  • Title: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire
  • IMDb: link

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Somebody sure watched Planet of the Apes. After already hitting the climax of this Monarch film series which gave us Godzilla versus King Kong, the pair are brought back together to mostly ignore each other in separate storylines, battle each other (briefly), and team-up against a threat that is underwhelming to say the least in a crazy ape and his miniature frost-shooting Godzilla. Other than merging the franchises with something like Pacific Rim or Transformers there was really nowhere for the series to go. And that’s where it goes, absolutely nowhere.

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Art of Love

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Art of Love
  • IMDb: link

Art of Love

If you can make it through the first-half of Art of Love, which is asking more of the audience than any movie has a right to do, there is some fun to be had in the film’s final 40 minutes of this story about an Interpol agent (Esra Bilgiç) attempting to prove her millionaire ex-boyfriend (Birkan Sokullu) is a world-renown thief. The film struggles heavily before getting to our thief’s last big score which will shift the focus of the film from the awkward cat-and-mouse game the two are playing and finally push both characters, each of whom has lied about their present motives, together into admitting their feelings.

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Damsel

/ / Home Video
  • Title: Damsel
  • IMDb: link

Damsel

Damsel works better in concept than in execution. Millie Bobby Brown stars as Elodie, the smart and capable daughter Lord Bayford (Ray Winstone) in a remote region hit hard in recent years. The chance to save the kingdom comes in the form of a marriage proposal for Elodie from Prince Henry (Nick Robinson) and his family (Milo Twomey and Robin Wright) who rule over a realm for more rich than that of Elodie’s father. The family accepts the arranged marriage which goes off without a hitch at least until Elodie is thrown into a dragon’s lair as tribute to the creature that once ravaged these lands.

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Resurrection of Magneto #2

/ / Comics

Resurrection of Magneto #2

Having found Magneto in the weird limbo for mutants, next challenge is to convince him to return to the world of the living. Consumed by his failures over the years, the Magneto she finds a a whiny little bitch who wastes most of the issue refusing her offer of help. For a comic created with the sole purpose of returning Magneto back to the land of the living, Resurrection of Magneto sure is taking its damn sweet time while failing to convince us of anything other than the obvious outcome.

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Spider-Man – Return of the Spider Slayer

/ / Television Reviews
  • Title: Spider-Man – Return of the Spider Slayer
  • wiki: link

Spider-Man - Return of the Spider Slayer

Spidey Saturday takes us back to the 90s. The show wastes no time in bringing back the Spider Slayers. In an obvious attempt to create (pretty crappy) toys to sell, “Return of the Spider-Slayers” gives us not one, not two, but three different Spider Slayers with the new ones apparently designed off the shittiest run of Transformers ever (they even combine together to… well, do nothing really except make them infinitely easier to beat when stacked on top of each other – even though the bomb’s explosion doesn’t appear to touch the bottom Slayer). In every way, the Slayers are even less impressive a second time around.

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