1 Razor

The Legend of Hercules

  • Title: The Legend of Hercules
  • IMDB: link

The Legend of HerculesEven for a throwaway B-action-flick, The Legend of Hercules is a bad movie that doesn’t even really deliver on its title. Rather than offer a movie centered on the legendary achievements of Hercules, writers Sean Hood, Daniel Giat, Giulio Steve, and Renny Harlin (who also directs) offer audiences a bland origin tale centered around the god-like Prince Alcides (Kellan Lutz) whose father King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins) sends on an impossible mission to get the boy killed guessing correctly that Alcides isn’t his son.

Surviving a slaughter and life as a gladiator, Alicides eventually makes it home under the name Hercules, which Queen Alcmene (Roxanne McKee) wanted to name him, to take on his father, brother (Liam Garrigan), and rescue the woman (Gaia Weiss) he loves all while being told he has a greater destiny to fulfill (which the movie then completely ignores). Cribbing the storyline from Gladiator, without any of its style, The Legend of Hercules is an impressively bad movie that doesn’t even offer cheesy enjoyment in its many faults.

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Anchorman 2: The Legend Falters

  • Title: Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
  • IMDB: link

Anchorman 2: The Legend ContinuesThis sequel, like milk, was a bad choice. Nine years in the making, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues feels every bit like a hastily slapped together cash grab whose every bright spot comes directly from jokes referenced or reused from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Most forget that the first film wasn’t a box office hit and only found success on home video and cable. The far inferior sequel will send droves into the theaters only to learn they never need to see it a second time. Some sequels are bad enough to make you reconsider your feelings about the original. This is that kind of movie.

Picking up the story of anchorman Ron Burgandy (Will Ferrell) a few years after the first film, Ron splits from his wife (Christina Applegate) and young son to go on the first of two boring personal journeys before reuniting the news team for new jobs at a 24-hour news network. Despite bringing back Steve CarellPaul Rudd, and David Koechner the sequel only offers Carell his own subplot with a secretary (Kristen Wiig) every bit as mentally challenged as Brick.

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Reverse-Flash #1

Reverse-Flash #1I’ve been very selective in my choices for the villain .1 issues DC has put out as part of their Forever Evil tie-in. Some have been okay, while others have been mass printed travesties (kind of like the New 52 in general). I was hopeful for The Flash #23.2 as timing actually matched up well for co-writers Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato to offer up the origins of the New 52’s version of the Reverse-Flash. As my pal Aaron likes to say, some presents are best left unwrapped.

There’s really no kind way to state how awful this comic truly is. I can’t lay the blame at artist Scott Hepburn who does a fair, if somewhat uninspired, job standing in for Manapul. I can, however, blame the two writers who spend an entire issue focusing on what only can be described as a whiny bitch of a character.

This comic, and Danny West‘s constant complaining, are brutally uninteresting. He whines about his childhood. He whines about his father. He whines about the accident that gave him super-powers. He whines, in case you haven’t gotten the point, incessantly.

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A (Not So) Good Day to Die Hard

  • Title: A Good Day to Die Hard
  • IMDB: link

A (Not So) Good Day to Die HardThe latest installment resembles the original Die Hard only in that it stars Bruce Willis and things blow up from time to time. To call Skip Woods‘ screenplay idiotic and ill-conceived would be an understatement. I’ve actually enjoyed every other Die Hard film so far, but the latest one chooses to put John McClane (Willis) in the role of comic relief while centering the movie around John’s thoroughly uninteresting son (Jai Courtney).

The plot, such as it is, involves evil Russian scientists and billionaires (Sebastian KochSergei Kolesnikov) who caused Chernobyl (on purpose). I swear I’m not making this up; somebody actually thought this was a good idea for a movie. Throw in McClane catching a plane to Russia to see his estranged son who has been arrested (but is really part of a super-secret CIA mission) and you’ve got a complicated mess of a story involving uninspired twists, shifting loyalties, and betrayal.

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Batman/Superman #1

Batman/Superman #1Um, what? Writer Gre Pak’s Batman/Superman #1 is a confusing tale that doesn’t seem to fit anywhere in DC’s current New 52 storyline. It’s presented, at least initially as the first meeting between both Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, and later between Batman and Superman. Okay, this part of the comic works fine (although Bruce Wayne’s undercover slumming isn’t well-explained).

Here’s the problem: We know that Justice League #1 is the first time the characters met, so is DC already retconning the New 52? Much more troubling is the turn the issue takes halfway through where it appears Batman and Superman have known each other for some time and Batman is confused while Superman is wearing jeans rather than his regular costume. Yeah, I’m confused too (with everything that’s happening)!

The story also involves some kind of entity that takes over its host and gets off on pain and power. The character is never properly introduced nor are his powers defined. This is a clusterfuck of a first issue that makes less sense the more you read it. Pass.

[DC, $3.99]

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