Movie Reviews

Rob Zombie’s follow-up to House of 1000 Corpses pulls off that rareist of treats: a sequel infinitely better than it’s predecessor.  Zombie drops the schlock and gore of Corpses, but ends up with a better (and more disturbing) film because of it.  In addition to three simply awesome performances from the leads, The Devil’s Rejects is a note-perfect love letter to the grindhouse cinema of the 70s.  The colors, the angles, the fades, and the music feel so authentic that were it not for the older faces of this film’s nostalgia heavy cast, you’d think you were in 1976.  Ultimately a deeply disturbing film about vengence and it’s consequences, horror fans should sit up and take notice of a film that reminds us that the scariest monsters of all never require CGI effects.  This is a masterpiece of it’s genre.

The Devil’s Rejects
5 Stars

Rob Zombie’s directorial debut was hyped as the film Universal Studios wouldn’t release, which perhaps gave it a bit more credit as a hardcore horror film than the resulting scattershot mess deserved.  Somehow or another Zombie has focused his vision to make a sequel that not only far surpasses it’s predecessor, but might just rank as one of the best, most artistic, and perfectly realized Grindhouse films ever made. 

Perhaps sequel isn’t a fair tag to bestow upon The Devil’s Rejects. Sure, the events portrayed in House of 1000 Corpses took place a few months before Rejects (though the characters looked thoroughly modern), and it’s with the same core of characters, but Reject’s shucks the cartoonish and over-simplified thumbnails of the characters and replaces them with living, breathing souls that you just don’t ever want to come across.  Sid Haig (Capt. Spaulding), Bill Moseley(Otis), and Sheri Moon (Baby) return as the members of the psychotic Firefly family, while Leslie Easterbrook (from the Police Academy movies, no less) takes over the Mama Firefly role from House’s Karen Black.  After an apocalyptic raid on the Firefly house, Otis and Baby attempt to meet up with Captain Spaulding while evading the relentless pursuit of Sheriff Wydell (William Forsythe in a career defining role), a man whose task one of both professional justice and personal revenge.  Along the way the Firefly’s abduct and terrorize a travelling Country & Western band (led by 70’s staple character actor Geoffrey Lewis), meet up with a immoral pimp (Ken Foree of the Romero classic Dawn of the Dead), tangle with bounty hunters (Danny Trejo and Dallas Page), and generally act as nasty and evil as the title suggests.  That is until Sheriff Wydell catches up to them to extract a vengence as terrible as any horror the Firefly family has ever committed. 

It’s run of the mill plot belays the sheer power and effectiveness of Zombie’s ability to perfectly capture his vision on film.  From the shot-perfect 70’s opening credit sequence to the various fades, transitions, and angles, Zombie has managed to do what Hollywood’s other 70’s obsessed filmmaker Quentin Tarentino cannot; make a homage film that refuses to wink to the audience with a ‘ain’t this hip’ perspective.  A soundtrack liberally peppered with the powerhouses of 70’s southern rock only serves to drive home the bastard Texas feel of the whole film, and I found myself in utter shock at how beautiful Rob Zombie made a film about nasty, torturous psychotics.  Horror and Grindhouse afficiandos will appreciate Zombie’s cast, which is chock full of genre and cult stars, as well as the various nods and subtle homages to some of cinema’s best horror moments.  I shan’t spoil them, as they add a level of enjoyment that is all it’s own.

Even more amazing than the look and feel of the film is the narrative feat Zombie pulls of by the tale’s end.  For the majority of the film you’re treated to the horror and destruction that results from the desperate acts of monsters with nothing much left to lose, and you’ll find yourself thoroughly hating the main characters of the film (as you rightly should).  However, once Wydell gets his hands on the Firefly family, his sense of justice has become an obsessive need to punish and obliterate the Firefly’s, making him capable of almost inhuman acts of barbarity and cruelty.  Zombie’s directorial coup is placing this horrible group of people in a situation so hellish that you find yourself almost, almost rooting for three of the most evil beings ever portrayed on screen.  That’s an impressive feat by any standard.

That not-quite-sympathy is helped along by the note-perfect performances by the film’s lead actors.  Forsythe brings a level of malice and intenstity to his performance that makes his previous tough-guy roles look like towel boys at the bath house.  Sid Haig walks the fine line between gleeful profanity and hair trigger evil that makes his character scarier without the trademark clown make-up.  Sheri Moon plays Baby like a psychotic elf just brimming with malevolant intentions, and never before has a director so lovingly showcased his wife’s finer assets with such abandon.  But the real treat here is Bill Moseley as Otis, who walks away with the best dialogue of the film all the while looking like some haggard ex-roadie for Lynyrd Skynyrd.  His soft and almost lilting voice provide a jarring juxtaposition with the intensely horrible things that come out of his mouth, not to mention his unspeakable capacity for violence.

There have been better films that have been released this year, to be sure, but I can’t think of a single film (and that is including Batman, Sith, and all the other nerd fests I’ve been drooling over) that I enjoyed more thoroughly than The Devil’s Rejects.  In all it’s bloodshed and depravity, Rob Zombie’s second directorial effort managed to be an almost freakishly unique film: one in which the director’s vision is perfectly coveyed on the screen unfettered by studio meddling or squeamish marketing.  It’s an unabashedly gleeful terror ride that might just be the first perfect horror film of this decade.

Richard Linklater takes the remake route with The Bad News Bears (a film that has been remade in spirit more than any other.)  Certainly more cuddly and PC than the original, this take is nevertheless saved by a pitch-perfect performance from Billy Bob Thorton, who is fast becoming the king of ‘lovable bastard’ roles.  Linklater resisted the urge to put any kind of twist or kitsch in his version, which faithfully follows the little league careers of a group of ne’er do wells and losers who are cajoled, cat called, and coerced into near greatness by their booze-hound coach (Thorton).  A feel good, if forgettable, film, Bad News Bears is at least good enough to deliver the laughs at a brisk pace, with many a laugh-out-loud moment.  Maybe not the best kids movie in the world, but family’s should enjoy it’s easy (and kinda skeezy) charm.

The Bad News Bears
3 Stars

Since 1976, nearly every kids-themed sports film (and the not so kid-themed Slap Shot) has been a take on cynical and wonderful Bad News Bears.  Let’s see: rag tag group of non-atheletes mentored by a curmudgeonly rascal with a past rise up against the odds with the help of a couple of ringers and sheer gumption.  Sound familiar?  You bet it does.  So when Richard Linklater announced his next mainstream project was a remake of the Bad News Bears, the most obvious question was ‘what’s the point?’.  After all, what ground was there left to cover after The Bad News Bears (1976), The Bad News Bears: Breaking Training (1979), and the Tony Curtis fueled Bad News Bears Go to Japan (1978)?  Well, not much at all, to tell the truth.

ZolarCzakl’s Take:

So director Richard Linklater has done another kids movie and get this, it’s another in a slew of remakes that Hollywood’s been pumping out lately. Fortunately for those of us who actually give a crap about what we watch, this remake of Bad News Bears is actually one of the better ones.
You all know the story (even if you didn’t see the original, trust me, you know the story): a ragtag group of kids that have absoutely zero skill on the baseball field come together under the tutlage of a craggy, drunk coach who at first doesn’t care but later learns the true meaning of something or other while the kids learn to play and most importantly, to love or something like that.
What makes this movie work, though, is the talent of Billy Bob Thornton. He, of course, plays the coach and has a million crass, sarcastic lines which are all actually very funny. Billy Bob has oodles of charisma and plays the ‘gruff guy with a heart of gold’ thing very well. In fact, I can’t really imagine any other actor these days pulling it off with quite the same skill and ease. He really does carry the entire film.
The kids, however, aren’t really all that special. Their lines generally aren’t very funny and their crass insults don’t really stand up to the humor that was written for Billy Bob. I don’t really see any of these kids breaking out and becoming great acting sensations, but I guess one never knows. That really isn’t apparent with any of the kids in this movie. I was also a bit disappointed with Greg Kinnear in this one. His character is the coach on the main opposing team and of course, he plays it as a real tight-ass. That’s really all you can say about it. Nothing great, just tight-ass. Well, maybe that’s all he can really do.

So let’s tick off that checklist: the story is stock, the writing is uneven, the characters sometimes do things that it seems they wouldn’t really do, and the kids aren’t that great. However, the movie was entertaining. Maybe Wedding Crashers blew a circuit in my brain. All I know is that I laughed, I was entertained, and I didn’t leave the theater feeling cheated (this would be the perfect opportunity to put in another slam at Land of the Dead, but… oh! Too late!).
I almost forgot, there was also some racism, sexism, and lots of cursing by little kids in Bad News Bears. And there really isn’t much of a moral. Really, what more could you want for a good, dumb summer movie? Go see it. Why the hell not?

Aaron’s Take:

Linklater proved he’s got a deft touch with mainstream comedies centered around losers (School of Rock and Waking Life. Oh wait, Waking Life wasn’t meant to be a comedy) so on the surface The Bad News Bears seems like a good fit for his talents.  But while we’re treated to profanity after profanity, what remains of this film is actually far, far less cynical or ballsy than the 1976 original.  The original film ended with the Bears losing, but instead of a ‘we learned how to be a team’ lesson the original team attacks the winning team in a free for all brawl. 

Sure, the kids swear a lot and get in fights, but where’s the beer swilling, chain smoking rebellion of Jackie Haley?  This time around Kelly Leak is played by a much more scrubbed and modelesque Jeff Davies, who looks disconcertingly similar to the middle chick from Hanson.  Davies only outcast status comes from his attempt at glowering and the fact that he rides a motorbike.  In this day in age, that’s conformity not rebellion.  Sammi Kraft has the unenviable task of filling Tatum O’Neal’s shoes as ace pitcher Amanda Wurlitzer, but while she doesn’t posess O’Neal’s sheer presence, Kraft does a passable job holding her own against Billy Bob Thorton. 

Speaking of Thorton, I must agree with my co-hort Tim that Thorton is the lynchpin of this film.  His easy take on the never-was coach who gets by on sleazy charm and drunken bravado just lights up the film with each crass and careless line.  As Bad Santa proved, Thorton has a a knack for making you like despicable characters, and Coach Buttermaker is no exception.  Thankfully he’s in nearly every single scene in the film, otherwise it’d be left to the barely sketched out remains of the cast.  Similarly to School of Rock, not much thought is put in to the other characters beyond their gimmick (One’s in a wheelchair!  One’s a spaz! One’s a nerd! One’s fat! One’s a burgeoning sociopath!), so once the film starts focusing on the team itself, the whole endeavor loses a little bit of steam.

But to be honest, I laughed quite a bit during Bad News Bears, both due to Thorton’s perfect delivery and the general tone of the film.  I’ll agree that The Bad News Bears is easily at the top of the list of recent remakes, but to be honest the bar ain’t set that high. 

More satisfying than this Spring’s Kicking & Screaming, and infinitely more entertaining than any entry in the Mighty Ducks franchise, The Bad News Bears should provide you would some good laughs and honest enjoyment even without the acerbic charm of the original.

There are some changes here, the film is much more focused on the coach than the kids, but for the most part it stays true to the spirit of the original. So how is it? I loved Bad Santa and I’m a huge Linklater fan, but they were also saddled with a script which doesn’t have much to it; I didn’t know what to expect. What I got was kind of like a good piece of chewing gum. I enjoyed the flavor while it lasted, but when it was over I spit it out and moved on to find something to eat that would sustain me.

Bad News Bears
2 Stars

Though I enjoyed it, I’m not a huge fan of the original Bad News Bears.  So when I heard Billy Bob was going to star in a remake my initial response was—Why? There are some changes here, the film is much more focused on the coach than the kids, but for the most part it stays true to the spirit of the original. So how is it? I loved Bad Santa and I’m a huge Linklater fan, but they were also saddled with a script which doesn’t have much to it; I didn’t know what to expect. What I got was kind of like a good piece of chewing gum. I enjoyed the flavor while it lasted, but when it was over I spit it out and moved on to find something to eat that would sustain me.

Not too bad

Buttermaker (Billy Bob Thornton) is a drunken foul mouthed exterminator in Sun Valley.  Once, many years ago, he pitched two-thirds of an inning in the major leagues; this was by far the high point of his life.  Now he spends most of his time drinking, smoking, cussing, and dating local strippers.  For some extra cash he takes on the job of coach for a group of kids that were held out of the league but due to the zealousness of an one of the mothers (Marcia Gay Harden) have formed their own team.  The group includes a kid in a wheelchair, two twins who speak only Spanish, and a group that doesn’t know the difference between a baseball and a motzo ball.  So Buttermaker, when he’s not getting drunk and passing out on the pitcher’s mound, tries to help these kids learn to play and beat the favorites to win the championship who are coached by overbearing control freak Bullock (Greg Kinnear).  Our coach recruits his former step-daughter (Sammi Kraft) and local bad boy (Jeff Davies) to help round out his team.  You can probably guess what happens from here.

The film takes a few shots at those who coach and overbearing parents, but I would have preferred more.  Aside from the ringers Thornton gets to improve his team, most of the kids are interchangeable and you don’t get much of a feel for them.  You get a fat kid, a black kid, a ruffian, a wimp, a geek, a cripple, and so on, but they never really develop into any more than these threadbare generic characters.  The film spends most of its time on Thornton’s character.  This gives us most of the films funny moments, but you also tend to forget about half the kids on the team because they don’t get much camera time.  Nor is any foundation is laid to help you understand why these kids want to play baseball in the first place, especially since it seems many of them have never played in the past.  As for Thornton, his mood swings from mean spirited drunk to foolish but good hearted guy don’t always come off here; I guess the studio was afraid of him coming off as too mean or cruel.  Finally, while the film is funny and amusing it is mostly cheap laughs and crude humor that you can enjoy once, but is easily forgettable and would get old after a couple of viewings.

For me the remake has the same effect as the original.  You will laugh and enjoy it for what it is and then walk out of the movie and completely forget it.  While diverting and amusing there are no bust gut laughs or great scenes to discuss after the credits roll.  Was it okay, yeah.  Could it have been better, definitely.  You always are waiting for Thornton to go a step farther, but the studio’s mandatory PG-13 rating never lets him truly explore the character’s depth and depravity.  I would have much preferred a sequel to Bad Santa rather than try to balance Thornton being an ass and a good hearted guy at the same time, and allow the humor to go all out rather than being restrained at times.  If you are just looking for some fun foul mouthed entertainment for a couple of hours this summer you will probably enjoy yourself.  Just don’t expect more.

Tim Burton returns to the world of Roal Dahl for a swing at Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but bigger budgets (and bigger stars) don’t always equal bigger thrills and more engaging story.  While it’s a little more faithful to the original story, Burton’s need to push the weirdness eventually alienates us from the experience, which is handled with none of the awe and joy of the original.  Depp makes Wonka a stunted man-child rather than just a wildly eccentric man, which serves to make the film much like the confections of the story: sweet and enjoyable, but ultimately forgettable.

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
3 Stars

Retooling a much beloved (if flawed) film is touchy business in any regard, but there are not many films as sacred to a generation as Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Having Tim Burton and Johnny Depps’ names attached may have lessened the worry factor, but Gene Wilder all but immortalized the role of Willy Wonka in the 1971 film version.

So how does Burton’s version hold up? It’s both better and not as good, to tell the truth.

In this adaptation (which is admittedly more faithful to Roald Dahl’s classic novel) we’re given a more complete look at Charlie (Freddie Highmore from “Finding Neverland”;) and his down-on-their-luck family as they eek by a tenuous existence in a ramshackle and leaning home. Charlie’s parents (Noah Taylor & Helena Bonham Carter) have to support both Charlie and two sets of grandparents (David Kelly, Elieen Essell, David Morris, and Liz Smith. All of whom manage to steal every scene they’re in), while trying to maintain high spirits and encourage their young son.

When the mysterious candy maker Willy Wonka (Depp) announces a contest wherein five lucky children will be allowed to tour his incredible factory, Charlie knows he has no chance of winning, as he’s only able to afford one chocolate bar a year. Any takers on whether Burton derails the universe by having Charlie lose out on a golden ticket? Yah, I didn’t think so.

Charlie and his Grandpa Joe (Kelly) get their chance to visit the Wonka Factory, alongside the gluttonous Gloops (Philip Wiegratz and Franziska Troegner), the overachieving Beauregardes (Annasophia Robba and the creepily great Missi Pyle), video-game fanatic Mike Teavee (Jordan Fry, who looks like a minature Barry Pepper) and his hapless dad, and of course Veruca Salt (Julia Winter) and her over-indulgent father (the great James Fox), each of whom is summarily dispatched by their own faults (with a little neglect and encouragement from Wonka) to the accompaniment of the song stylings of the Oompa Loompas (Deep Roy).

With the exception of a wonderfully morose back-story for Wonka, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory does do an admirable job of keeping faithful to the story’s origins, but strangely this film turns out much more light-hearted than the 1971 version. For all the technical achievements and storytelling improvements, this version also lacks a lot of the warmth and wonder of the original. We’re shown various wild contraptions, each making candy in a seemingly impossible way, but rather than focusing on the wonderment and awe they should inspire, each set piece feels more like background images which are given only cursory examination.

Charlie is much less an active protagonist once the factory doors are opened, pushed aside by the more colorful and obnoxious children on the screen. He’s there only to serve as a moral barometer and to reinforce the wonder of the Wonka experience. And of course there’s Wonka himself. Depp had some extremely large shoes to fill with this role, but rather than attempt to capture the benevolent lunacy of Wilder’s take, here Wonka is more an arrested man-child whose creepy mannerisms aren’t just some mischievous facade, but a reflection of a truly stunted being. With his CGI pasty face and flat out childlike manners, there’s no possible way his performance isn’t meant to conjure up a Jacko association.

Sadly, this time Wonka never really warms up to the world. True to Burton form, his weirdness is unchanged and uncompromised from our first encounter, much like the film itself. The real failing in this film is that it never finds a way to open up to the audience, as it’s too wrapped up in its own world to let us in for more than a peek. While many, many elements of this film easily surpass the original, the childlike wonder and sense of exploration are sorely lacking.

Still, even die-hard fans will find much to enjoy this time around, and only time will tell if this more modern adaptation will capture the imagination of this generation.

I think I should just lighten up. Big dumb comedies have been back in fashion for the last few years and I have been very resistant to them. American Pie, There’s Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Old School, Anchorman, and Dodgeball are just a few that seem to wallow in extreme slapstick, vulgar sex jokes, and totally unbelievable situations. Sure, I laughed a lot when I saw American Pie in the theater but I later felt a little dirty about it.

Wedding Crashers
3 & 1/2 Stars

I think I should just lighten up.

Big dumb comedies have been back in fashion for the last few years and I have been very resistant to them. American Pie, There’s Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Old School, Anchorman, and Dodgeball are just a few that seem to wallow in extreme slapstick, vulgar sex jokes, and totally unbelievable situations. Sure, I laughed a lot when I saw American Pie in the theater but I later felt a little dirty about it.

This is where my friends tell me that I should lighten the hell up, and after seeing Wedding Crashers, I think they’re right. Here’s the deal: Wedding Crashers is stupid, dirty, far-fetched, and terribly predictable, but I laughed my ass off while watching it. It was thoroughly entertaining, even though it did make me feel a little dirty for liking it.

Here’s the story: John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Klein (Vince Vaughn) are divorce lawyers who work together and have been best friends since adolescence. When they’re not hearing the horrendous details of people’s marriages breaking up, they’re pursuing their main hobby, which as the title of the movie suggests, is crashing weddings. They come up with elaborate schemes to get into weddings, party with the families at the receptions, and most of all, pick up chicks and go to bed with them.

After a particularly busy wedding season, the two decide to crash the biggest one of the year: that of Treasury Secretary William Cleary’s (Christopher Walken) daughter. John is immediately taken by the bride’s sister Claire (Rachel McAdams) and proceeds to woo her. Meanwhile, Jeremy sets his sights on the other sister, Gloria (Ilsa Fisher), who just happens to be insane. Wackiness ensues as the two join the family in a post-wedding weekend celebration at the Secretary’s house and John tries to get Claire away from her psycho-jock boyfriend.

I went into this movie with extremely low expectations because although I really like Owen Wilson, I have had a big problem with Vince Vaughn. Maybe it was that ultra-crappy remake of Psycho that literally turned my TV into a toilet bowl when I watched it or his performance in Dodgeball that was even too wooden for a stupid comedy. Well, Vince really does quite a good job in this flick at playing the rough but loveable guy that ends up being the film’s comedic punching bag. He has a variety of violent things happen to him and gets the most psychotic abuse from members of the Secretary’s wacko family. I actually liked him by the midpoint of this film. Way to go, Vince!

Owen Wilson is great, as always, and does a good job of making this tremendously stupid movie work. I may even go out on a tiny limb and say that it’s the stars’ charisma that elevates this movie above the other horny, schlocky, comedies that seem to be popping out by the dozen these days. And of course Christopher Walken is great in this movie doing his requisite “creepy man” thing that he naturally does; he manages to be funny and creepy at the same time.

I laughed often and loudly in the theater when I saw this. You can’t really argue with that. I guess after being bludgeoned for two hours with the crazed sledgehammer of a movie that was Oldboy, I needed to watch a movie where I could just shut my brain off and enjoy it. So I suggest that you do just that: go to your local theater, stop thinking, and revel in the cinematic retardation that is Wedding Crashers.