Movie Reviews

It’s been a rough year for favorites, most of mine have turned into guilty pleasures that are not considered quality films, but well done enough to be box office numbers. I’m including the best of 2005 for the more quality films that deserve some recognition for either quality of story, characters, acting and/or intelligence.

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Slim pickings this year, but many disagree with me. In the past years I would get so excited about films to come everything from independent, foreign, weird and off the wall, to your basic special effect blockbuster, but this year just didn’t deliver for me. Too many serious over blown reality pieces that turned out to be way too many story lines happening at one time and too close to reality. Film is an escape, an ability to run away from life for a couple of hours and fall in love, cry, laugh, freak out, jump or get mad, but to be reminded of the sorrow that happens everyday in life and to pay for that reminder, who wants that?

Brokeback Mountain: A love story to beat all. Brokeback Mountain will be remembered as a film of significance in entertainment history. Two actors pull out a brilliant performance risking not only their place in the spotlight, but their reputation in their chosen fields. A risk that both agree, have paid off. Based on the short story by Annie Proulx, 2 cowboys fall in love in the beautiful landscape of Montana. Unexpected, they continue their romance through marriages, kids and age, only to meet a couple times a year for a camping trip and back to their separate lives afterwards. Neither willing to give each other up, but not allowed to admit their love for one another, their true selves kept secret and ending in tragedy and sorrow.

Cinderella Man: Russle Crow and Ron Howard did it again. Cinderella Man works perfect on all levels, you get the perfect setting, costume design and storyline, it all works. Characters like Paul Giamatti’s is hard to pass up, it’s just like type casting. How could you not love a film about a down and out time in America, the depression, where a character gets to conquer and overcome, to be a winner in the end against all odds?

Mrs. Henderson Presents: A delightful romp about a rich old widow trying to find something to do with herself and her money after her husband passes away. She purchases a ran down theater in the bottoms of London and starts a nude revue during World War II. Mrs. Henderson Presents has sarcasm, wit and humor and the perfect pair of characters that compliments both each other and the film; Bob Hoskins and Judi Dench work together like 2 peas in a pod.

The Upside of Anger: It’s nice to see two main actors comfortable with getting older, it really shows in their performance and adds great depth to The Upside of Anger. Kevin and Joan both inhabit their roles and show life as it is, not always pretty and perfect, but livable. The Upside of Anger is a film for adults about falling in love again and learning how to take it in the chin when life throws you those unexpected punches. Be prepared to laugh, cry, pissed off and laugh again; a well done film compared to the likes of American Beauty and Sideways.

Pride & Prejudice: Jane Austen’s romantic and witty novel brought back to the theaters in this well made version of Pride and Prejudice. The mini-series made for T.V. bored audiences silly, but this much shorter version will win over hearts easy enough with the classic Keira Knightley pulling off independent Lizzie like she may have lived during Regency English times. It’s a novel romance after my own heart.

Memoirs of Geisha: It’s a pretty film, full of beautiful scenery and costuming, which keeps a grace to its acting and story. Memoirs is a moving period piece that is recognizable for both its talent and mesmerizing story.

The Constant Gardener: Compelling and riveting, but also very melodramatic and overblown in other areas. A story of medical companies testing new drugs on a civilization that is ignored by most, but has caught the attention of Tessa (Rachel Weisz), a radical out to save the world no matter what chances she must take.. She had investigated too far and tickled one too many fannies, after trying to convince her husband, Justin, a British diplomat, she strikes out on her own and gets killed. Justin searches for the reason, the truth and finds out that she was right and he ends up in the same place, but solves the problem first. The Constant Gardener is very quiet at times, but has some pretty powerful scenes that will turn you stomach and piss you off, if you have to patience to go through the editing of events from back to front and front to back again, then this is a film to be seen.

My Summer of Love: My Summer of Love is a story of young and not so innocent love between two intoxicating beauties Mona (Natalie Press) and Tamsin (Emily Blunt). Both young ladies having a great deal in common with their beauty, intelligence & style, yet exact opposites in every way from social standards, dress, and demeanor. My Summer of Love shows a little adventure in sexuality and testing the boundaries of a friendship amongst two girls in a passionate summer tale.

Grizzly Man: Watch a documentary about a man that become more animal than human as he lived with the grizzlies. Timothy Treadwell lost touch with reality more and more as the film roles through his life among the wilds; beautiful unforeseen moments appear on camera and weird uncomfortable conversations occur. Whether it’s comical or dramatic, Grizzly Man will keep your attention and proves to be a different form of documentary.

North Country: North Country is not without a few flaws; the film does make every man, but one, Glory’s husband, Kyle (Sean Bean) out to be major pricks. Not one man will stand up for Josey and the other women, that’s a little unrealistic, surely there would have been a few that would have defended the women and stopped some of the ridicule and harassments. And in the last scene of the film where Bill asks the audience in the court if anybody would stand up for Josey and help defend their rights, just about the whole audience stands up, now that’s a little hokey. But overall North Country completely works on all levels and does not disappoint in anyway.

Last year’s big CGI films didn’t quite deliver to their expected levels, but were good enough to be considered as popcorn favorites. Let’s hope this years big blockbusters like Superman Returns, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, X-Men 3, Indiana Jones IV, Die Hardest and X-Files 2 deliver. Great another year of part 2, 3, and even 4’s, don’t get too excited about what 2006 blockbusters have in store for us.

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A list of films from 2005 that most definitely deserves a dark room and a big bag of popcorn.

Constantine: Imagine we are all chess pieces that the forces of good and evil use to play with. Constantine takes the depths of hell and brings it to our T.V. as if LA was on fire and the freeway is Hell Central. Based on the characters from Vertigo “Hellblazer” a comic book, Constantine takes the audience from the illustrated page directly to a dark, gothic, and somewhat comedic cinematic experience. Some of the scenes could easily be turned into a vivid graphic novel that captivates its readers and puts them into a trance. Unfortunately, fans of Alan Moore, Jamie Delano, and Garth Ennis’s might be a little disappointed with Constantine’s punchy plot, freakish monsters, and stiff main actor Keanu Reeves as the antihero John Constantine.

Sin City: I went into this film as a novice, never read a comic book and barely skim through graphic novels; I was open for anything. Sin City is, from what I have researched, an exact play by play of the comic itself.(check out SIN CITY: From The Comics to the Screen) Don’t go into this thinking your going to get something different and original. A spectacular twist on Frank Miller’s short stories, nope your getting what you already read, but in film noir style. Where Sin City doesn’t deliver on content variations from the original works, it tries to make up in style, way to go Robert Rodriguez(one of the directors). Got to give it props for the black and white with an occasional color look, it helped the film move along.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Even though Hitchhiker’s Guide doesn’t live up to expectations and needs a little more British slap stick, it’s still worth a gander. Full of pleasing sci-fi and cheesy special effects and with the talents of Sam Rockwell and Martin Freeman, it’s a riot and will keep you on your toes.

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith: It’s done, the last one! How Sad, it took George Lucas some 20 years to complete his legacy and it only took Peter Jackson less than half the time to accomplish his. Half the time with better quality acting, writing, sets and CGI; but we are not here to talk about LOTR, we are here to critique Revenge of the Sith. In comparison, the last installment is awesome, but still shares the same character flaws as Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.

Batman Begins: A new Bruce Wayne, a young Bruce Wayne played by the mysterious and handsome Christian Bale and directed by Christopher Nolan (dark film mentor such as Memento and Insomnia), fitting to the darkness of the beginning of the end for Gotham City. A rough and dark batman in the series, not as lighthearted and joking as some of the past and definitely more villainous and vicious. All characters fit, but one, Katie Holmes, luckily her role is so small that she doesn’t ruin the film. Acting power such as Liam Neeson, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman add to the quality and the experience and the significance to how it all began is popcorn watching intrigue.

War of the Worlds: Be prepared to be abducted and flung into an all out, heart stopping, teeth clenching 50’s style sci-fi movie of the year. Be warned, War of the Worlds is scary all day; there is a 10 minute reprieve in the very beginning, but the rest is constant fear. The sounds and look of the tri-pod creatures, mixed with the unbelievable terror on the character’s faces while being wiped off the face of the planet is enough to make you freak out every time a lightening storm comes to town.

Serenity: For true Joss Whedon fans, this film is pure pleasure, sci fi at it’s finest. Sure there are a few hiccups to the storyline and characters, but overall guilty pleasure doesn’t need any explanation.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: It’s time for Harry to start doing things on his own. The Goblet of Fire gives the audience a look to things to come with Harry, Ron & Hermione. The 3 characters are now teenagers and begin their journey into self-acknowledgment and how they fit into the scheme of things. Harry is entered into the Triwizard Tournament completely by surprise and this chore makes him compete on his own, which leaves out the dynamic trio’s group effort to save the day. Ron & Hermione’s relationship starts to evolve through their little arguments. Hermione lets out a little secret to Ron during the Winter Yuletide Ball about her true feelings and how he should have asked her to the ball before somebody else did. The old-timers, Dumbledore, Hagrid, McGonagall, and Snape, usually concern themselves a great deal with Harry and his well being, but in The Goblet they didn’t have much to do with him. There were a few moments between Harry and the professors, but overall they were side notes in the whole scheme of things.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: A few mistakes in the special effects, but overall great story and keeps with the book. Kids loved it and adults where intrigued. It’s a moment to escape in a big dark theater, an escape into another realm with half-animal and human creatures, an evil ice queen and a powerful lion as a king, both death and war comes together to end in happiness and the promise of further stories to come.

King Kong: Just to ruffle a few feathers with my fellow Razorfine critics (and give you a different perspective), I’m going to try to take the high ground and be positive. Which wont be easy given the film is way too long, and there are massive issues with construction, characters, plot, story, and well….hell just about everything. But let’s not forget that this film is make believe, and was created to entertain the masses.  And folks, critics are not the masses. We have become overbearing and extremely judgmental in our movie going experiences, and see things for what they really are instead of the fantasy world this type of entertainment is made for.

People will hate the fact that it takes roughly an hour to see Kong, and they have to spend so much time getting to know characters that they don’t give a shit about (nor will they).  They want Kong.  Jackson, what is wrong with you?  People want 10 maybe 20 minutes of character building and then you need to give them the juice. Audiences are going to drool, squirm, eek, scream and jump at every monster that pops out and either crushes, devoirs or decapitates the ship’s crew. The audience won’t notice Kong comes in various sizes, or that his face never quite matches up. They won’t catch on to a New York playwright becoming a master of the jungle and conquers all odds to save the girl only to get back to the ship in 10 minutes. And really, who is going to see the vast difference in the CGI quality Jurassic Park has over Kong in the dinosaur scenes?

There was plenty of films from 2005 for the worst of list, but I was able to come up with the worse 10.

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How sad is that, it was much easier to pick out the nasty little gems from last year than to list the best of films? The list below is in no specific order, they suck equally!

The Pacifier: Vin Diesel can be seen in many films and usually he’s very stoic, but in The Pacifier he’s the babysitter. The Pacifier is completely brainless for the family. Very similar to Kindergarten Cop, The Pacifier holds bar to Arnold and the senseless humor. Vin plays the stud who can kick butt, swim like a shark, and live off the land with some army rations, but can’t change a diaper. He truly did not have to do any acting, all he had to do is stand there and let the kids react to him. The site says that The Pacifier is “James Bond Meets Mary Poppins”, more like James Bond becomes Mr. Mom. Every worse case G-rated scenario that could happen does, baby vomit, baby poo, teenage girl problems, teenage boy problems, and the little girl with all the questions. Very surprising that the creators left out any drug, alcohol and sex related issues, but that may have turned the film into PG-13.

The Brothers Grimm: Director Terry Gilliam (Time Bandits, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, & The Fisher King) has lost his touch after 7 years. Fans will be amused, but a bit disappointed. Given, The Brothers Grimm, is quite eye catching and has some since of humor accompanied with some very very dark moments. When I say dark moments I mean, a little fluffy kitten in a meat grinder and the skinning of a rabbit in detail, all done with a twisted amount of humor of course. But Terry doesn’t give enough, maybe it has to do with being frustrated with corporate meddling and not having the freedom to really express himself.

The Cave: Spelunkers beware there are mutants down in those caves. Nothing to be frightened of here, The Cave fails to scare or even intrigue it’s viewers, the monsters are amateur looking and the acting is even worse. Dialogue becomes halfway comical at best and the sound and set design is pitiful; this film is one big stinker.

Herbie: Fully Loaded: No matter how many breast reductions they give Lindsay Lohan, this remake is one big failure.

Alone In The Dark: He failed with bringing Sega videogame House of the Dead to the big screen, but hopefully director Uwe Boll finished his career with Alone in the Dark, yet another video game adaptation. This film is scary only on the bases that the studio thinks you should pay to see this horribly stupid catastrophy. What’s scarier yet is that I did pay to see it in the theater and now I am suffering through the DVD version; what I will sacrifice for our public. If this gives you any idea what you are in for, the film’s perspective is shared by the special effects coordinator John Sleep, who was responsible for the special effects on House of the Dead, Scary Movie 3 and Catwoman. I must say that those were pretty stellar films, NOT.

Alexander: Alexander the Great, what a great disappointment. If you are going to want something bad enough to have been thinking and planning for most of your life to make it (almost 32 years), then try not making it a complete disaster and an epic bore. Another suggestion would be to not go on a five year break and then come back and make a huge flop. Don’t take such an important piece of well studied history and turn it into 3 hours of bad casting and innuendos. Is the answer A.) B.) C.) or D.) all the above, what did Oliver Stone do wrong? A safe bet would be to pick D.) all the above. Where to start, everything in the film was so wrong and did not fit.

Boogeyman: Who was not afraid of the Boogeyman? I was scared to death of him so much that my feet never touched the ground in front of my bed and not one single door in my room was left ajar. Sadly to say I was not too afraid of this Boogeyman, it just didn’t spook like it should. It is PG-13 so it is targeted more towards the younger group of movie goers and they may find this to be a jumper. It wasn’t bad to watch just to see hottie Barry Watson, but that was the only benefit I found. Boogeyman does keep you in suspense in the fashion of keeping the creature from prying eyes through out most of the film, it does add a bit of spook factor to not seeing what Barry’s character is so afraid of. A different take from slash and gore films, but could have been a great deal scarier.

Doom: Doom gives us the basic scare tactics with an unoriginal opening, unseen creature slaughtering the scientists in a research station on Mars, never seen anything like that before. The RRTS, Rapid Response Tactical Squad, I’m not too sure about the rapid part, composed of some quite entertaining character names like Goat, Destroyer, Pinky and The Kid, are called in to save the day. Still looking for something different, maybe a little twist or some type of originality? I am too, but don’t hold your breath, it’s not coming. Here is a little insight; did you know you could get to Mars by a portal in the Nevada desert? The iron marine crew shows up and locks down then spend the next 60 minutes or so slugging around endless firepower and getting killed.

Dark Water: Dark Water, that’s funny, this film is more like Murky Water. All I could think was, this film is such a drip. The Hollywood Machine pulled off recreating a Japanese horror once with The Ring, but it’s time to give it up and move on. Jennifer Connelly looked absolutely ill, which may have been the whole purpose to her character, but come on eat a sandwich and start rethinking some of your career moves Jen. Dark Water had one promising attribute and that was John C. Reilly, he played the conning super who sold the apartment to Jennifer’s character and would do nothing to fix the black water dripping from her ceiling or clean the place up. Not knowing the daughter is becoming possessed all along by a little girl that was abandon and had drowned up stairs, she kept living there thinking that maybe she herself was loosing it. I waited for that one scary moment, but it never came and what was even worse, the ending didn’t either. When the film ended, the director and editing team set us up for a 3 weeks later segment; what, three weeks later, can’t we just end this torture and get out of here. If you’re looking for something to keep you on your toes and entertain, then Dark Water is nowhere near the film for you.

Elektra: Jennifer I suggest you stick with the men that helps you move up the later like your co-star from Alias, or easier yet, stick with Alias and cutesy teeny bopper films. Elektra is a pathetic attempt to an already pathetic attempt with Dare Devil and Ben Affleck.