Tim Dodd

Girls, Drugs, and Guns. Now how about a point?

As a fan of 60’s and 70’s exploitation flicks, it really bums me out when a movie makes naked nubile beauties snorting coke, turning tricks, and blowing people’s brains out unappealing. 2004’s Greek powerhouse of style attempting to masquerade as substance, Hardcore, is just that film.
No really, kiddies, I’m just kidding. Sex, drugs, and violence are bad and shouldn’t be celebrated in film. Well, that is unless they are presented in a fun manner. Hardcore is not fun. It’s not really even that entertaining. And for the trench coat faction of you out there it’s not even very erotic. It just kind of sits there like a million other pretentious arty films that wallow in sensational topics just to get attention but offer little in story or substance.
Well, at least the chicks are hot.

Hardcore follows two teenage prostitutes in Athens, Nadia (Katerina Tsavalou) and Martha (Danae Skiadi), who fall in love with each other (even though they both have fellow prostitute boyfriends), kill their pimp, blame it on one of the boyfriends, and go off together as Nadia becomes a famous TV star and model. The ups and downs of their twisted relationship are explored while Nadia, who is the “bad girl” of the two, screws her way up the corporate entertainment ladder and Martha declines into a life of drug abuse and depression. Some sort of redemption supposedly takes place at the end, but it beats me what that is.

It’s kind of unfortunate that the story is so silly and pointless because the look of the film is great. Hardcore is director DennisIliadis’s first feature film and he does a great job of presenting the world these two live in as a dark, disturbing place. There are a few fantasy-type sequences in which Martha is dreaming of a better life that are really well done but are unfortunately like small diamonds periodically peeking out of a vast pool of foul, slimy, sewage.

Alright, I have another thing to get off my chest: I hated Leaving Las Vegas. That movie was, to me, a nihilistic exercise in depravity that had no point, no redeeming value, and was absolutely no fun. Hardcore seems to follow along the same lines as Leaving Las Vegas, and I enjoyed it about as much. I guess I just don’t get this kind of film-making because Leaving Las Vegas received a lot of critical acclaim when it came out and I’m sure somebody is going to think Hardcore is utterly brilliant. True, it’s visually appealing and clever at times, but it’s ultimately a waste of time.

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Universal is the real jerk on this skimpy DVD

“Whaddya mean you’ve never seen The Jerk?!?!?!?” is the usual response I got when people found out I had never seen the 1979 comedy favorite starring Steve Martin. I am slightly embarrassed that this incredibly popular movie somehow eluded me all these years and I am delighted to be reviewing Universal’s new 26th Anniversary Edition DVD for you loyal Razorfine readers.
Unfortunately, any promise the words “Anniversary Edition” might hold for this disc to be truly special are squelched when one looks at the back cover and sees the near complete lack of bonus features. Well, at least the movie is really funny.

The Jerk tells the story of a very stupid man, Navin Johnson (Steve Martin), as he leaves home for the first time and travels around the country looking for fame and fortune. Raised by a poor black family in Mississippi, Navin hears watered-down jazz music on the radio and is inspired to get out and find what life has waiting for him. On his way he works at a gas station for Jackie Mason, gets a job with a carnival, falls in love with Burnadette Peters, and invents an eyeglass apparatus that makes him a millionaire. Throughout all of this, Navin never gets any smarter, and his stupidity finally leads him to losing his entire fortune.

Martin plays the idiot brilliantly in his first starring role in a feature film. He also had a hand in the writing of the screenplay, which combined with his expert comedy timing and delivery make the film an incredibly goofy, funny viewing experience.

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The Smurfs finally make it to the big screen… three years from now!

Not Dolly Parton or Brian Dennehy

Thank god for the recent trend in remaking about goddamn everything known to man! Now there are plans to make a Smurf movie in 2008. Why the long delay? It will coincide with the 50th anniversary of the little blue devils, silly!
Even though Nickelodeon Films has reported that it will be a CGI-animated affair, I think it should be live action and star Jim Belushi as Gargamel. Carol Channing should be the cat and Dolly Parton should be Smurfette. It would be a toss up between Brian Dennehy or Wilford Brimley as Papa Smurf. Well, you get the idea. Read the whole article here.

Funny, Funny, Funny. And stupid. But funny.

I think I should just lighten up.
Big dumb comedies have been back in fashion for the last few years and I have been very resistant to them. American Pie, There’s Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Old School, Anchorman, and Dodgeball are just a few that seem to wallow in extreme slapstick, vulgar sex jokes, and totally unbelievable situations. Sure, I laughed a lot when I saw American Pie in the theater but I later felt a little dirty about it.
This is where my friends tell me that I should lighten the hell up, and after seeing Wedding Crashers, I think they’re right. Here’s the deal: Wedding Crashers is stupid, dirty, far-fetched, and terribly predictable, but I laughed my ass off while watching it. It was thoroughly entertaining, even though it did make me feel a little dirty for liking it.
Here’s the story: John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Klein (Vince Vaughn) are divorce lawyers who work together and have been best friends since adolescence. When they’re not hearing the horrendous details of people’s marriages breaking up, they’re pursuing their main hobby, which as the title of the movie suggests, is crashing weddings. They come up with elaborate schemes to get into weddings, party with the families at the receptions, and most of all, pick up chicks and go to bed with them.
After a particularly busy wedding season, the two decide to crash the biggest one of the year: that of Treasury Secretary William Cleary’s (Christopher Walken) daughter. John is immediately taken by the bride’s sister Claire (Rachel McAdams) and proceeds to woo her. Meanwhile, Jeremy sets his sights on the other sister, Gloria (Ilsa Fisher), who just happens to be insane. Wackiness ensues as the two join the family in a post-wedding weekend celebration at the Secretary’s house and John tries to get Claire away from her psycho-jock boyfriend.
I went into this movie with extremely low expectations because although I really like Owen Wilson, I have had a big problem with Vince Vaughn. Maybe it was that ultra-crappy remake of Psycho that literally turned my TV into a toilet bowl when I watched it or his performance in Dodgeball that was even too wooden for a stupid comedy. Well, Vince really does quite a good job in this flick at playing the rough but loveable guy that ends up being the film’s comedic punching bag. He has a variety of violent things happen to him and gets the most psychotic abuse from members of the Secretary’s wacko family. I actually liked him by the midpoint of this film. Way to go, Vince!
Owen Wilson is great, as always, and does a good job of making this tremendously stupid movie work. I may even go out on a tiny limb and say that it’s the stars’ charisma that elevates this movie above the other horny, schlocky, comedies that seem to be popping out by the dozen these days. And of course Christopher Walken is great in this movie doing his requisite “creepy man” thing that he naturally does; he manages to be funny and creepy at the same time.
I laughed often and loudly in the theater when I saw this. You can’t really argue with that. I guess after being bludgeoned for two hours with the crazed sledgehammer of a movie that was Oldboy, I needed to watch a movie where I could just shut my brain off and enjoy it. So I suggest that you do just that: go to your local theater, stop thinking, and revel in the cinematic retardation that is Wedding Crashers.